DEAR ABBY: Man's online shopping drains coffers and wife's patience
Published: April 17, 2026 at 10:00 AM
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A reader identifying herself as Covered in It in California contacted the Dear Abby column to address her husband's compulsive online shopping habits. The couple has been married for 50 years, but recent months have seen him purchase two or three packages daily consisting of unnecessary items like fruit corers and air fresheners. These purchases amount to more than $2,000 per month on his credit card, creating a significant financial drain now that the wife is retired and no longer has an income.
Despite cordial discussions where he promises to abstain, the cycle continues with 15 additional unnecessary items delivered weekly. The situation has led to food waste as pantry overflow forces the disposal of perfectly good groceries to accommodate new subscriptions. The columnist advises that this behavior may constitute an addiction driven by a dopamine rush rather than genuine necessity.
The recommended course of action involves suggesting a 12-step organization called Spenders Anonymous to help overcome the problem. While the husband supports the family through non-financial means, the financial burden now falls heavily on the retired spouse who previously funded their lifestyle.
Key Insights
Compulsive online shopping can escalate into a serious financial addiction that disproportionately affects households during retirement transitions.
Identifying the behavior as a potential psychological issue rather than simple overspending is crucial for effective resolution.
Professional intervention through support groups may offer a path forward where verbal agreements fail.
However, the success of such interventions depends on the individual's willingness to acknowledge the underlying causes.